Got Wood?

I know that sounds dirty. But I'm actually going to talk about wood, or at least comparisons to wood. And a 25-year marriage.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I was dating 2 guys simultaneously. Both great guys in their own ways, both smart, funny and interesting. This was before anyone had heard of AIDS, so I was sleeping with both of them. Pete was a lot more volatile, and so was I. So there were regular blow-ups, huge fights, followed by extraordinary make-up sex. Big Guy was a lot more solid, calmer, patient as a saint, with a great job and a real future. And although they weren't acquainted, they knew about each other. I couldn't decide which one of them to stick it out with. I was just waiting for one of them to ask me to stop seeing the other, but neither of them ever did. I finally had to make a decision.

Ever have a fireplace? People who don't have one don't usually know about the differences between different kinds of wood. Pine, for instance, catches fire fairly easily and burns very hot. It sparks and pops and crackles, and the flames turn all sorts of beautiful colors. As these things go, pine can be a very exciting fire to sit by. But it burns really fast, and then it goes out just as quickly as it started. Oak on the other hand, takes a lot more work to get burning. It builds up to a pretty good heat, but it takes quite a while to get there. You don't get the theatrics you get with pine, no popping or crackling, not very colorful. But once you've gotten it started, it burns fore-freakin'-EVER. Hours and hours. Not terribly exciting, but you'll stay warm, hot even, all night long.

I was explaining that to a friend who had lived his whole life in apartments when I realized I was dating Pine and Oak. The next weekend, I told Pine that he would always have a place in my heart (and he does), but not a place in my future. And 9 months after that, I married Oak. It hasn't always been easy. I'll admit there were times when I wanted to quit, but he wouldn't let me. But he's surprised me with plenty of unexpected excitement along the way. We'll be celebrating our 25th anniversary this fall. And he still keeps me warm. That's one long-burning fire. I wouldn't have it any other way.